Addicted
by zashikabuta06
Summary: ADDICTED Summary: Events occur after Glee! Live tour and inspired by "Addicted" from Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway album Rating: M Disclaimer: From my Brittana/HeYa imagination; pure fiction. A/N: Was attempting write a one-shot but it has turned into more...
1. Chapter 1

Addicted by Kelly Clarkson

It's like you're a drug

It's like you're a demon I can't face down

It's like I'm stuck

It's like I'm running from you all the time

And I know I let you have all the power

It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

It's like you're a leech

Sucking the life from me

It's like I can't breathe

Without you inside of me

And I know I let you have all the power

And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe

It's like I can't see anything

Nothing but you

I'm addicted to you

It's like I can't think

Without you interrupting me

In my thoughts

In my dreams

You've taken over me

It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost

It's like I'm giving up slowly

It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me

Leave me alone

And I know these voices in my head

Are mine alone

And I know I'll never change my ways

If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe

It's like I can't see anything

Nothing but you

I'm addicted to you

It's like I can't think

Without you interrupting me

In my thoughts

In my dreams

You've taken over me

It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you

I need a fix

I can't take it

Just one more hit

I promise I can deal with it

I'll handle it, quit it

Just one more time

Then that's it

Just a little bit more to get me through this

I'm hooked on you

I need a fix

I can't take it

Just one more hit

I promise I can deal with it

I'll handle it, quit it

Just one more time

Then that's it

Just a little bit more to get me through this

It's like I can't breathe

It's like I can't see anything

Nothing but you

I'm addicted to you

It's like I can't think

Without you interrupting me

In my thoughts

In my dreams

You've taken over me

It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm not me, Naya thinks to herself, as she pulls into the driveway of her home. She has taken over me; I can't go anywhere in this god damn city without it being attached to her. She is in my thoughts and in my dreams. She is the first thing I think of when i wake up, well besides "why the fuck is it so early?". And she is the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. She is everywhere. I can't fucking take this!

Naya storms into her empty house and heads straight for her liquor cabinet to drown her sorrows over her best friend. An hour later, there is a knock at the door. She bolts for the door, hoping against hope that it is her, but the look of disappointment hurts Kevin, Jenna and Amber, who came over, knowing that Naya would need someone after what happened. They swoop in and lead Naya to her couch. Amber starts to clean up the empty bottles of vodka, Jenna goes into her kitchen with the groceries they brought, and Kevin just sits with Naya for a moment.

Hey, Bee. Tell me what happened.

Kev- you know what happened. You were there. I can't even-

Ok, Hush, Nay-nay.

Naya completely breaks down in the arms of Kevin, replaying what had happened earlier that day.

They had all just gotten back from the tour. Well, it was actually 2 weeks after they all got back and Cory was hosting poker night at his home. The whole cast was there, with their respective significant others and it was the first time most of them had seen each other since they took their final bows in Dublin. The exception to that was Naya and Heather. They went to NYC with Dianna, Jenna, and Lea, spent the 4th with them before heading to AZ to see Heather's family. This was not out of the norm, but what was going on was.

After that brief peck on the lips on stage, everything changed between them. It was like doing that small romantic gesture gave them the license to finally be free to express all of the underlying, undeniable feelings that had been simmering for the past two years. If only the crowd saw the kiss that transpired between Heather and Naya as soon as they were off stage( after the Brittana kiss) they really would have broken the Internet. It was their first kiss and the whole cast witnessed it. They were all so happy that finally they acknowledged their feelings for each other.

So here they all were, back at Cory's house, for a night of drinking, gambling, and usual debauchery that ensued whenever they all got together. Naya and Heather carpooled with the other dynamic duo, Dianna and Lea, since they all lived close to each other. Naya brought her infamous guacamole, Heather made Jello shots while the other two brought along whatever vegan, organic food they knew that Cory would not have for them. They got there early, as usual, to help Frankenteen set up. It was amazing how Cory was really nothing like Finn; he was confident, intelligent, and not the ignorant person Finn was at all. Cory was so supportive of all four of them that he was the one who pulled Naya aside right before she taped "Landslide" to tell her to go for it.

"Be Santana, Nay, and sing to HeMo, not Brittany. Show her that you mean every single word." Cory's compassion overwhelmed Naya because she thought she was doing such a good job of holding it all together. Plus, she never expected this from him because while they were all friends, she was not particularly close enough to him to warrant this type of intimate conversation. He gave her a big Canadian bear hug and told her, "Go get your girl, Naya. She will be listening and it's very romantic, actually."

"Cory, how did you know?"

"Seriously, Rivera? We all know, but none of us knew how to help or what to say. You are all we talk about, especially now that Lea and Dianna have figured themselves out. We are all plotting on how to finally get you two together. You should hear the crazy shit that Chord comes up with."

Naya started to blush at that and Cory continues, "Hey, don't be embarrassed. You just can't see what we all see every time you are both in the same room. You are two magnets that just get drawn into each other. It doesn't feel right when one of you is there without the other. If you could see what we all see, then it would be obvious to you,too. I'll let you finish getting ready, Naya. If you get stressed, just look at me, I'll have some goofy Finn look on my face; that should make you laugh."

"Gee, Cory, how come we've never talked like this before."

"I guess I just felt like this was the best choice out off all the crazy shit we were thinking of doing. We are not very good matchmakers, I'm afraid. All of our previous efforts have ended in disaster."

"Hold up. What previous efforts?"

"The thingy that last day in London was Amber and Jenna's idea. The thing in Toronto was Chord's. The thing in Vegas was Kevin's. We thought that lea and Du's would work in L.A. but that was an epic fail too. So, I came up with this one on my own and I am hoping for a better result."

"Wow. And here Heather and I thought all of those situations, while odd, were spontaneous. You guys are very creative, I'll give you that. So, what does the winner get?"

"What? Nothing Naya. We all have the purest of intentions. There is no bet, I swear."

"Montheith, I know you all better than that. Tell me what it is."

"Fine. The winner gets a trip to Hawaii for a week and up put at the Turtle Bay Resort where they shot Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I've never been to Hawaii and I really want to win one of these damn bets."

"Okay, Cory, I'll make sure you win this."

"Sweet. Now, go win Heather."

Cory was her source of comfort whenever she got wrapped up in the emotion of the song and the scene. He wavered between looking like a gassy infant and as a supportive guy that Finn could be. His words actually made that scene what it turned into, Her declaration of love for the blonde dancer. Sure, it was Santana's moment first, but it was hers too. Ryan, Gwyneth, and Stevie were all impressed with the way she approached that scene. Heather could tell that she was putting more into the scene than what was required as Santana, but couldn't quite figure out what it all meant. It wasn't until "Songbird" that Heath got it.

But guys, how was I supposed to know that? I mean, Naya knew all about Taylor this whole time and now I have to choose between the two of them! I cannot do that. Not right this second.

Cory, Chord, Harry, Chris and Darren were sitting at the poker table, listening to Heather, as she tried to sort through the mess of what happened that night.

I don't even know how we got into this fight, to be honest. One minute we are dancing and the next she is screaming at me and then she just leaves. Naya's solution to anything to to get up and leave. She walked away from me and I honestly don't know why.

She goes to Cory and starts to sob.

Hey Heath. It'll be okay. Maybe Naya just needs some time and space.

Yeah, HeMo. Just stay here tonight and in the morning, you and Naya can sort through it all.

The rest of the guys saw this as there cue to leave. Lea and Dianna had already fallen asleep in the guest room.

Cory led her to his room and laid her down on his bed. He was going to sleep on the couch in the living room.

Where are you going?

To the couch. Lea and Di are in the other bedroom and I wanted to give you some privacy.

Don't be Finn. Come on, Cory. I know that you wouldn't try anything and we are friends. This is your house and your bed, for Christsakes. Now, come back here.

Well, I guess you are right. HeMo.

With that, he removed his cargo shorts and changed his t-shirt. Heather borrowed a pair of Cory's shirts and shorts and got into the bed.

See I told you that I wouldn't bite. Thanks Cory.

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Aww, gee Heath. If I knew that was all it took to get a kiss from you, I would have invited you into my bed sooner.

Heather laughed heartily at she turned and kissed him full on the lips.

At first, it was just a brief kiss. Then Heather was in her head thinking of Naya and how it felt versus kissing boys, like Cory and Taylor. She deepened the kiss and started to pull him closer to her. Cory abruptly stopped her when she started to french him.

Heather-

Cory, I'm so sorry. I'm just a fucking mess. I'm so sorry, I am not like that. You know that I am not that kind of a girl. Shit. I think I should just go, Cory.

No. I don't be silly, HeMo. We can just chalk it up to the alcohol, okay? No harm, no foul.

You sure? I am just fucking one relationship after another.

Not this one, Heath, we are good.

Heather just smiled till she looked down and saw Cory's boner.

He just laughed it off, saying, "Well, I'm only human and I can't deny that you are an awesome kisser and you are smoking hot."

Well, I can help you with that if you want. Not sex but I'll give you a hand job.

Don't you think that's kinda inappropriate.

Umm, chalk it up to the alcohol? Just no kissing ok. Come on.

Before he could protest, she was giving him a hand job. And before he knew it, she was done.

There. Best thank you gift I can think off. 'Night Cory.

Good night Heather. ANd thanks for you know...

No worries, Cory.

Jenna put Naya to bed after much protest. Mercedes had to go home because she had choir early on Sunday morning. Kevin insisted that they both stay to make sure Naya gets some rest. He knew that if they left, she would either pick up another bottle of vodka or would start cutting herself again.

Kevin slept on the couch and Jenna was about to go to the spare room. She was playing on her iPhone, when she accidently hit voice record and then Naya started sleeptalking:

But Heath-you can't have us both. You need to decide who you want.

What do you mean you can't? It's really quite simple, you either want to be with Taylor or you want to be with me. Yes, I know...ok...but...sooner or later you will have to pick. I believe you. You love us both. But you are in love with me. That's the difference, love. I know that you love him and that you probably always will. But can you stand there and tell me that you are in love with him? That he is your everything? That you would be with him no matter what the cost? Because I am telling you that that is how much I love you. You can take away all of this and as long I have you in my life, i would be the happiest girl in the world. I love you, Hemo.

Naya slips back into a deep sleep, clutching the pillow pet that smelled like Heather.

Jenna knew that what she just heard was what Naya was feeling. The girl whom everyone assumed was just like Santana was actually more like Tina: quiet and shy. It was just that Naya had grown up in the industry and she knew how to turn it on for the public and how to keep her private life private. She emailed what Naya had said to Lea and Dianna along with a note to meet at Naya's house when they got up. They all needed to figure out how to help Naya and Heather get back to each other.

Jenna ended up falling asleep on Naya's loveseat.

Heather couldn't scrub her body hard enough; she felt so dirty that she couldn't let her mind acknowledge it. She stayed in the shower until she used all the hot water. She got out of the shower and put her clothes on. She left the bathroom and made her way quickly out of Cory's room and his house. She just couldn't face him. She couldn't face herself, either.

She drove straight home. She knew that the first person she would have called in this situation was Naya. She needed her best friend right now and she couldn't call her. FUCK!

Then she got a text from Jenna-

HeMo, i need to come over.

cant

pls its important

fine in 1 hr

see u then

An hour later, Jenna is at Heather's doorstep. She opens the door and lets herself in. Heather is asleep on the couch and she looks like she has been crying.

Jenna gently wakes Heather up. She doesn't know if HeMo talks in her sleep but hearing Naya's confession was enough.

Hey there

Hi Jenna

Heath, have you been crying the whole time?

Yeah. i just fucked everything up. So bad, Jenna.

Aww, come here.

I think I need the morning after pill.

WHAT?

I think that Cory and I slept together last night but I'm not 100% sure.

Jenna takes a deep breath before speaking. She doesn't want to sound judgmental because she firmly believes in a woman's right to choose. It's just that she had never been thrust in this type of situation before.

Okay Heather. Let's try to retrace your steps...

I don't...I can't even...

Heather bursts into another fresh round of tears. Jenna just pulls her into an embrace.

I need Naya. Please Jenna. I need her.

Okay HeMo. We'll figure this all out.

Thrity minutes later they are at Naya's house. Jenna texted Kevin so he went over to Naya's. Heather was reduced to a shell of her former self. They knocked on the door and Kevin answered it.

Heather walked through the doorway and rushed towards Naya. She didn't have to say anything at all. She just went up to her and collapsed in her awaiting arms. Naya just held her and they both cried. Kevin and Jenna went into the kitchen to give them some privacy.

I don't think the dinner is such a great idea Kev. At least not tonight-

Well, Lea and Di will be here soon. Cory said he can't make it and we are here already. Naya was cooking to keep her mind off of everything. Man, Heather looks really bad. They both do, but I have never seen her like this.

Jenna was not going to tell Kevin. What Heather told her was in deepest confidence and plus she knew that if they weren't in their current predicament, Naya would have been the one and only person privy to that information. Jenna just started cutting the large watermelon and Kevin took that as his cue to continue sautaing the chicken stir-fry.

im sorry nay. im so sorry. i dont know what happened

Heather is hysterical. Naya has never seen the blonde dancer in the state of disarray. She put all of her anger aside and just rocked her best friend back and forth.

HeMo, what is it?

I cant tell you.

sure you can. you can tell me anything.

i can't even say the words, naya.

just say it

i need the morning after pill. i think that cory and i-

did he rape you?

no naya. i don't really remember what happened last night.

ok- naya was trying to remain calm.

tell me, heather. it's ok.

well, you left and I was talking to all the boys. Di and Lea already took the spare room. Everyone else left and Cory insisted that i just stay over since I was too drunk to drive. He leads me to his room and he starts to leave to to go sleep on the couch when I tell him that it's ok for us to share his huge king size bed. So he give me some clothes to change into, he changes into his PJs, and we both get into the bed. I kiss him on the cheek. He was really being sweet. Then at that moment, I thought about how it felt-

How what felt?

How kissing a boy felt felt versus kissing a girl. How kissing Taylor felt versus kissing you. I had forgotten what it was like. So i just kissed him.

And-

And i instantly wanted to be kissing you, Naya. It was like I knew who I wanted, who I loved more, who I wanted to be with.

So, how do you go from that to sleeping with Cory, Heather?

Well, Cory was the one who stopped it. He told me that I didn't know what I was doing. So, we just chalked it up to drunken kissing. But I saw that he was aroused, so I said, I can help with that, but no kissing. So I gave him a hand job, and that is the last thing I remember. I swear Naya. I didn't kiss him anymore. I fell asleep.

Well, so what makes you think you had sex then? You just gave him a happy ending.

This morning, when I woke up I was naked and so was he.

Did he take advantage of you?

Naya how can I not remember anything? I have only slept with Taylor and you. How can I not remember this?

Baby, we will figure this out.

Naya, i am so sorry.

I know you are, Heather.

Does this mean-

It means that we need to take care of you first. Does Jenna know?

Yes.

Okay. well, we need to go to the pharmacy and get the medicine. It's over the counter. I'll go get it if you stay here with Kevin and Jenna. Just go in the kitchen and act cool.

Naya-

Heather, it'll be okay. I love you.

Two hours later, Chord finally arrives so that they can start the 1st course.

The whole gang is there except for Cory, whose absence is noticed.

Yo, where is Frankenteen at? He never misses these, especially if Naya is hosting.

Heather looks visibly shaken at the mention of his name. No one notices, except for Naya, who comes to her and takes her hand.

Ohhh, he said that he promised his cousin that he would hang out and since we are going to start work next week, he didn't know when he would get to see him.

These dinners had become a ritual from Day 1. They would attempt to get together every other month, rotating who would host, but soon, the get- togethers usually took place at Corys, Lea & Di, or Heather, just because they were the biggest places and the cast seemed to get bigger and bigger with each episode. Naya was one of the better chefs so everyone brought their appetites, pictures and videos from the tour, and a bottles of wine.

Naya, you seriously could have a show on the Food Network.

Yeah, Nay, this is so delicious.

They had to put three tables together in fit the large cast: HeMo, Nay, Lea, Di, Amber, jenna, Kev, Chris, Darren, Harry, mark, and Chord.

It was always family style potluck with the person hosting responsible for the main course. Naya made chicken stir-fry with mixed veggies, beef with broccoli, brown rice, and vegetarian tofu eggrolls.

After 30 minutes, the boys were clearing the table as the girls got the videos and pictures out.

Naya pulled Heather into the den and checks-in on her.

Baby, how are you feeling?

Im ok, im cramping right now, but you said that was normal, right?

Yea, hon. It should kinda feel like your menstrual cramps X10. You should feel better by the morning.

Naya. I'm so sorry.

Hush, Heath. I told you that I forgive you already. You don't even know if you slept with him but it is better to be safe than sorry. So, please, stop feeling so guilty. I love you baby girl. Just remember that…

Heather looked like she was going to cry again when Naya just kissed her softly to try and distract her.

Heather kissed her back and it worked.

Jenna came up behind Naya; she knew that HeMo took the pill and she was so worried about her.

I'm okay, Jenna. Thanks for everything.

You have my word. No one will know of this.

Thanks for your discretion.

Hey Nay-nay, you have to see this one-Heather almost clocks you in the head with that back flip thingy she does with Harry.

Shit, Heath-too close.

They all go into the TV room to watch the videos for the tour.

Cory was home, in his living room, guzzling a beer, sitting at his drum set. Playing always helped him get through the difficult times in his life. Right now, he couldn't even find solace in that.

Holy shit. I slept with Heather. We had sex. She has Taylor and Naya. I was supposed to be the good guy; I mean YES, she did give me a happy ending, but that was just that. How could this have happened?

Cory was trying hard to remember the events of last night when he had a flash:

It was in the middle of the night and Cory heard Heather cryng in her sleep. He just acts and he takes her in his arms. He does not have any ulterior motive; he just wants to comfort her. She starts to talk-

But Taylor, can't you see. We have been done for a long time. We have to stop pretending that we are okay because we are not .We can't go back to way things were and we can't act like we know there is not something wrong. Why do I have to be the one to do this? Fuck, Tay, I'm not in love with you anymore. I can't change how I feel. I'm sorry-

Hey, Heath, wake up, you are having a bad dream-

Heather starts to punch Cory's chest and he takes her fists and holds them down, forcing her to wake up….

What the fuck? You are not Taylor. Cory?

Yea, HeMo. You were having a bad dream.

How did I-

Remember, it was Poker night at my house. You and Naya got into an argument and I insisted you stay over because you were no state to drive home.

Okay, yeah, Cor. It's coming back to me now. What time is it?

2am. Come on, let's try to get some sleep.

Heather just looks at Cory and she sees Taylor. She misses him, despite of not being in love with him. Things were comfortable between them, after being together for 5 years. They were each's first everything and they were supposed to be each other's soulmates. Until a certain Latina came along and blew that plan sky high. Heather just reacts-she was tired of all these thoughts in her head: of Naya, of Taylor, of who she was. She just wanted to be like it used to be with Taylor, after they made love those first couple of times, trying to learn what to do with each other. She closed the gap between them and started to kiss Cory in earnest, imagining that he was Taylor and that everything would be okay.

Cory is shocked and he doesn't know what to do. He knows that he should stop this. It is obvious that Heather's head is a mess and that she is probably thinking of her boyfriend or Naya; certainly NOT him. But fuck, she is too good at this and he hasn't gotten laid in so long and Heather has got a banging body…

She pushes him back down onto the bed and removes her top as she kisses his neck. Heather's hand hooks unto the elastic of his boxers and she looks up at him.

Cory, tell me if you want to stop. Otherwise, I'm going to keep going.

She is giving you an out, Monteith. Come on and take it.

Just as Cory is about to push her off, she takes his enormous hands and puts them at her breasts, cupping them, and she gently holds him in the palm of her hand.

Cory's desire to fuck Heather overtakes his good intentions to stop this mistake.

Are you sure Heather…

She does't speak. She removes the boxers he gave her to reveal a landing strip and a pussy wet with desire. She deftly moves to position herself over his erection, looking at him with reassurance, before he rolls her on her back and plunges hard and fast into her. His want takes over him as he fills her up to the hilt. He looks at her and blue eyes are wide open.

Fuck me. Harder. Faster. Cory…

He obliges, gaining speed, hitting her spot as he moves in and out of her…

He can tell that she is close as he grunts and moans

Fuck Heather…you feel so good

Then she lifts her hips all the way up, giving Cory full access to her

He keeps banging her as she moves against him, building within him a pleasure he has never known.

Right there, she pants, so close….

Cory completely withdraws from her and lets her feel the absence of his hard cock.

She reaches down and grabs him-he almost cums with that motion—before she directs back inside of her. He takes the hint as he thrusts in long, fast and hard, into her cave, filling her completely. He moves slowly, building back up the pace as Heather is gripping his shoulder

Fuck Cory. Fuck me…

And with one final push inside of her drenched pussy they both cry out in pleasure. Heather cums hard, her walls are pulsating around his member. Cory continues to fuck her as she rides out her orgasm and even climaxes again.

She flips him, sitting on top of him, and allows him to take the view.

God, you are so beautiful, Heather.

Her juice is spilling all over him as she begins to ride his penis, up and down, in and out. He knows that he won't last long with her skills. Heather moves expertly and makes him cum so hard and so fast, exploding his load deep inside of her. She cums a third time and collapses onto of him, spent.

Heather bolts up at the memory.

What is it baby?

Oh, Naya-she chokes out through sobs

Come here, honey. Are you in pain? Shhh, Heath. I am right here I am not going anywhere. I promise.

Just hold me….please, Nay. I need you.

Naya spoons Heather and begins to stroke her golden hair, whispering in her ear:

Baby doll, it will be okay. I promise you that I am right here. I am not going anywhere.

Heather couldn't stop crying as flashes of the previous night were coming at her in rapid succession. She was wracked with guilt. Naya was comforting her for cheating; for not being able to choose sides; for having doubts. She kept on crying, unsure of how her tear ducts could still produce tears.

Naya started to sing in her ear as she rocked them back and forth:

_Love can be a many splendored thing_

_Can't deny the joy it brings_

_A dozen roses, diamond rings_

_Dreams for sale and fairy tales_

_It'll make you hear a symphony_

_And you just want the world to see_

_But like a drug that makes you blind,_

_It'll fool ya every time_

_The trouble with love is_

_It can tear you up inside_

_Make your heart believe a lie_

_It's stronger than your pride_

_The trouble with love is_

_It doesn't care how fast you fall_

_And you can't refuse the call_

_See, you got no say at all_

_Now I was once a fool, it's true_

_I played the game by all the rules_

_But now my world's a deeper blue_

_I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too_

_I swore I'd never love again_

_I swore my heart would never mend_

_Said love wasn't worth the pain_

_But then I hear it call my name_

_The trouble with love is_

_It can tear you up inside_

_Make your heart believe a lie_

_It's stronger than your pride_

_The trouble with love is_

_It doesn't care how fast you fall_

_And you can't refuse the call_

_See, you got no say at all_

_Every time I turn around_

_I think I've got it all figured out_

_My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'_

_Over and over again_

_This sad story always ends the same_

_Me standin' in the pourin' rain_

_It seems no matter what I do_

_It tears my heart in two_

_The trouble with love, yeah_

_It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie_

_It's stronger than your pride_

_(The trouble with love is)_

_It's in your heart_

_It's in your soul (doesn't care how fast you fall)_

_You won't get no control_

_(and you can't refuse the call)_

_See, you got no say at all_

Naya, I don't deserve you. How can you be so cool about this? If I was you, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be holding you and singing to you. I'd be fucking pissed at you. I wouldn't be telling you that I love you.

Heather, I am epically pissed at you. But, first and foremost, I am your best friend and right now, that is what you need me to be. As your lover and possibly girlfriend, I'm so fucking mad at you and Cory. As your BFF, I understand. No matter what, I still love you. Nothing would ever change that.

Heather finally fell asleep at around 4 am.

It didn't help that this morning was their first day back from hiatus and they had 6am call times. At least today was an easy day, at least by Glee standards. There was just the promotional photo shoot in the morning then a table read-through in the afternoon. Who ever had solos would be meeting with Nikki in the evening or they had choreography with Zack.

Naya couldn't go to sleep. She was in too much pain and she was so wired. She slipped out of Heather's body and went to the bathroom.

She switched on the light and took a good hard look at herself. She looked fucking awful and felt 1 trillion times worse. She knew what she wanted to do that could help.

She took the lid off the top of the toilet and grabbed her emergency bottle of Grey Goose. She cracked it open and took several healthy swigs. Heather didn't know about this stash. When Naya got really bad, Heather thought she purged Naya's home of all the alcohol and razors, but Naya knew how to hide it. After all, she had been hiding it for so long, even before Heather came into her life. She then found the other thing she craved. Naya stripped off her clothes and went into her shower, clutching the bottle to her chest. She turned on the water and crouched on the floor.

The water sprayed unto her caramel skin as she looked at the back of her forearms. Her marks were fading; it had been so long since she had done this. Ever since she got on Glee and met Heather, the urge to cut magically disappeared. But tonight, as she sang to Heather, she felt the dormant beast awaken. She was so full of rage and pain: at Heather for betraying her, at Cory for fucking her girlfriend and taking advantage of her, but most of, she was mad at herself.

Ohhhh, Rivera. You are such a fool.

She took the razor blade in her left hand and lightly slashed her inner right forearm. Seeing the razor pierce her skin brought an overwhelming sense of release in her.

How could you let your guard down? Let someone in. You can't trust anyone.

Not even the one person you thought would never let you down did because she fucked Cory.

Another cut as the blood begins to drip down her arm unto the white tub and down the drain. Her skin stings as the spray for the shower hits her forearm.

Naya knew from experience how to cut and where to cut; it felt so good. Naya polished off the bottle of vodka and finished showering. She took her empty bottle and put in back in its hiding spot and she taped the razor blade back on the inside of the lid. She looked down at her forearm, red with her fresh cuts. She cleaned them off and applied gauze. She slipped into a long-sleeve shirt and went back to her bedroom. It was 6am and she had to wake up the blonde.

She went to the edge of the bed and she took a lock of her blonde hair and placed it behind her ear. Naya kissed her neck, then on her cheek. Heather's eyes opened just as Naya kissed her full on the lips.

Baby, it's six o'clock. We have to be on set by seven.

Ok. Wow, showered already?

Yeah babe. I'm going to make us some breakfast while you are in the shower.

Naya got of the bed and left the room. Heather could hear her getting the coffee ready. Heather sat up in bed and tried to remember the last time she saw Naya wear that long-sleeve shirt. She shuddered at the thought and she prayed that Naya was just cold and NOT wearing that specific shirt for the other reason she feared…

Being back on set was like the first day of school.

Even though "the kids" (as they were called) spent a whole month together on tour and just saw each other this past weekend, there were missing Mark, Max, Lauren, and the "teachers". They were catching up on the lot by the craft service table when Ryan rounded up the troops.

Hey everyone. Here are the scripts for episode one. Table read at 1300, after lunch ok? Head over to Lot J for the photo shoot and video promos in 10 ok? Welcome back!

Telly handed Naya and Heather their scripts already highlighted with their speaking parts. Heather's was highlighted in orange and Naya's was highlighted in pink. They were heading over to their trailer to get dressed when Lea and Dianna caught up to them.

So, are you juniors or seniors?

Looks like Brittany flunked so I think she is a junior.

Naya is a senior.

Rachel and Quinn are both seniors, along with Kurt, Finn, and Noah. Looks like everyone else are juniors.

They all reached their trailers.

See ya in a few?

Yea, Di, we just have to see what Santana and Brittany are wearing.

Heather opens the door of her trailer to find it filled with flowers.

Naya-

Heather, I'd love to take credit for this romantic gesture, but it's not me.

She finds the card and the blood from her face drains.

Hey baby, just wanted to bring a smile to that gorgeous face of yours on your first day back to work. I love you, Heather. Xoxoxoxo- Taylor

Heather collapses onto the loveseat.

It's evening and Naya is in the recording studio with Amber and Jenna. Naya is getting set to record "Love takes Time" by Mariah Carey. It is the closing song on the episode. Amber is going to be singing Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" for the second episode. Jenna is there to record one of her favorite song from her favorite Broadway show, Miss Saigon for the season premiere.

Naya is scheduled to go last, so she goes and sits on one of the couches as Jenna goes to record first. She takes out the script and starts to read it once through. She grabs her "water bottle" knowing full well that it is full of vodka with a spritz of lemon juice. I don't remember it tasting this good, she thinks to herself as she skims through the script. It is not until the end, where she sees the major change and why Santana is singing that Mariah Carey song.

Heather was the first one on set the next morning. She was nervous as she entered the recording studio. This certainly was not the first time she was ever there. It was the song that she going to be singing that was causing her agita. She had no idea what she going to be singing. After the table read, Brad and the new writers decided to change the direction of Brittany and Santana's relationship. Initially, they had them getting together over the summer, with Santana taking major strides in the season premiere to be out and proud, which would lead her to be in a relationship with Brittany. Santana was even going to sing the closing number.

However, the new lesbian writer brought up the fact that Santana has already declared her love for Brittany. She reiterated Brad's sentiment that they were more interested in the Santana's process of coming out at this point while acknowledging that Santittany was the endgame. She felt that it was only fair for Brittany to return the favor and express how she felt about the fiery Latina. Naya and her agreed with her that. Even though their characters did kiss at the end of the tour, it was not out of the realm of their relationship. So, with their blessing, Brad changed the ending of the episode. It was Brittany, who was going to sing the closing number.

Ok, Heath, here is the demo. Just listen, then we can discuss it, ok?

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

And there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason

Only this sense of completion

And in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I'm searching for

I think I've found my way home

I know that it might sound more than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I've found you

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

Heather was reduced to tears. It was difficult enough to have such a major script change and to top it off, having to sing Savage Garden's "I Knew I loved You" just made it 10,ooo times worse. It was because every single word was true for Brittany and for herself. How the fuck was she supposed to get through this? Of course, she recognized this song and knew all the words; that was not the difficult part. It was even in her vocal range-it was the meaning behind the song. She had to think quickly, since the demo tape was almost over.

Heather, you okay? Nikki asks.

Yeah, Nik-it's just a really emotional song. The writers hadn't filled me in on what song I was going to be singing since they just made all of these changes to the script. I knew that Brittany loved Santana, but I guess I was shocked at how much she was in love with her. This song really puts it out there.

Totally true, Heather. But we do think it's only fair that Brittany has a chance to show her side, after Santana sang "Landslide" and "Songbird" to her last season.

Why don't you take 5, compose yourself, and we can start recording when you get back?

Heather returned and nailed it in three takes.

Wow, HeMo. I'm impressed. Your vocals have really improved. The tour must have helped? Well, we got it. I think you have some downtime before they start shooting.

Thanks, Nikki. See ya next time.

Heather puts her headphones on and walk out the studio. She isn't paying attention and she runs straight into Cory, who was next to record. This was the first either one of them was alone since that night.

Hey Heather.

Hi Cory.

Ummm….

Yeah….

I have to go to the tin shed, I'm late.

We need to talk, HeMo.

Later, Cory. I have to go or Zach will kill me.

Fine. Later today, though.

Sure. Whatever.

With that, she runs in a full out sprint to the Tin Shed. She knows that no one is there yet. She catches her breath as she goes to plug in her iPod, cueing up that same song she just recorded. Per the script, Britt is not only singing but dancing this song to Santana. She already had choreographed some moves in her head while she recorded it.

By 9am, Zack was with her finishing up the piece. She missed dancing lyrical and felt that what they came up with was truly beautiful.

HeMo, I think that's perfect. God- you are so awesome.

I know.

Well, the rest of the girls should be getting here soon for their number. Let me show you the steps so you can teach it to them.

Why? Where are you and Brooke going to be?

Brooke will be here with you but I need to go and finish up the Glee Project.

No worries, Zach. Let's go-

By 9:30, Zach was gone. HeMo and Brooke were doing the first run-through of the girls number.

Whenever Heather danced, Naya had a difficult time absorbing anything else. It was not unusual for Heather to be an assistant choreographer with Brooke. As HeMo did the last booty popping move, she looked directly at her.

Ok, Lea, Di, over here. Jenna, Naya, next to me. Cue music, Brooke. And a 1-2-3…

The girls got the number down by 10:30 and were dismissed by Brooke for early lunch.

Hey, HeMo. Zach wanted you to show me your solo.

Sure, Brooke.

You have a solo?

Yeah, Naya. The writers changed the script. Brad doesn't want you see it before we tape it because they want to capture the moment. So, I'll meet up with you for lunch in 15?

Sure. See you soon.

Naya heard which song it was as she pushed through the doors. She sneaks a peek at the lithe dancer and beams brightly as the door closes behind her.

It was early Friday afternoon and most of the kids were done for the day. The only ones left to shoot scenes were the Unholy Trinity, Kurt and Blaine. That night was the red carpet premiere of the Glee! Concert movie, so the studio was hosting a party for the entire cast and crew at Tom Coleicchio's Craft.

Naya, Dianna, and Heather were waiting in their chairs for their scene. Chris and Darren were currently filming on set.

So are you guys getting ready here?

Oh no, Di. My dress is at Naya's so we are going over there to get dressed. The car service is picking us up at 1730, which should give us enough time to make it to Westwood. How bout you?

Yeah- Lea is coming to my place. Jenna is too, since she lives so close. Tonight should be awesome! Have you seen any of it yet?

Nope. I wanted to experience with everyone.

Jeez, Nay-nay, you can be such a sap sometimes.

Naya laughs as she takes a drink from her vodka filled water bottle. The alcohol had helped her get through this first week of shooting. Getting back into the swing of things plus dealing with Heather's morning after drama was too much for her to take. At least she only cut herself that one morning. The urge went dormant in her again. She takes another long drink from her bottle-almost done.

Earth to Naya! They are calling us on set. Jeez, babe you must be dehydrated. I never seen you drink as much water as you have this week. Hey can I have some?

Heath grabs bottle out of Naya's hands and is about to drink the last of the vodka, when Naya purposefully knocks it out of her hands, spilling the contents on the floor.

Oh shit. I'm so sorry, babe. I didn't mean to-

No worries, Nay. Could you hand me that towel? There, barely got any on me.

Naya breathed a sigh of relief. She knew that she was good at hiding this but that was too close of a call. She knew that she had to be smarter about the drinking before Heather or anyone else found out.

The scene they shot was reminiscent of their New Directions audition. Quinn was singing lead, flanked on either side by Santana and Brittany. The major difference was that they were not wearing Cheerios uniforms and that they did not have an ulterior motive to spy for Sue. They were singing Destiny's Child's version of Emotion in the choir room for Mr Schue's assignment for the week. The scene was going to be interspersed with them singing, Quinn pining over Finn, Santana pining over Brittany, and Brittany pining over Santana and Artie.

It took them an hour to get the scene right and afterwards they were dismissed for the day.

Cory knew that it was in his best interest to stay away from Naya. He could tell from the way she looked at him that she knew that he slept with her woman. He marveled at how she still looked at Heather with nothing but love in her eyes. The look she gave him made him understand that saying "If looks could kill."

They had successfully managed to look okay for the cast and were professional when they were in scenes together, but Cory knew that he had done irreparable damage to their friendship. He was waiting for the day that Naya was going to tear into him for what happened; there was thick cloud of tension that would hang in the air if they happened to be alone together. Cory missed both of his friends. HeMo couldn't look at him without looking like she had seen a ghost. He fucked up so bad. He did the only thing he could think of to try and figure if there was anyway to fix what he broke. He confided in the dynamic duo.

He went over to Lea and Dianna's apartment about a month after it all happened.

The cast all knew that things were a bit off between Naya, Heather, and Cory, but no one could have ever thought of why. They were all very good actors but it was subtle shift in how they all interacted with each other that was starting to get noticed.

Finny-bear, nice to see you on a glorious Sunday. What's up?

Hey Lea, Di. Umm thanks for letting me come over I hope that I am not interrupting anything.

Lea and I were just about to start cooking dinner, which you are more than welcome to stay for. Want anything to drink?

Beer?

Sure, Cory.

Dianna returned with 3 beers as they all sat on the couch.

Cory, are you okay? You have been distant. I know that we are all super tired but there is something else, isn't there?

You know me too well, Lea. Yeah, that's kinda why I am here. I need to talk to you and Di. I don't know who else to turn to. I fucked everything up so badly and I don't think there is anyway for me to fix it.

Lea got up from her seat and went over to Cory to give him a hug as Dianna just patted him on the back.

Hey, Frankenteen, I'm sure that it's not as bad as you think. Tell us and we will figure out a way to make whatever you did right.

I don't even think I can say what I did. I'm just so ashamed of myself; I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror since I did it. Stupid, so stupid. He actually starts to cry which takes both Lea and Dianna by surprise.

Cory- just say it. Whatever it is, we promise not to judge you.

He took a couple of deep breaths and then said it: I slept with Heather the night had poker night at my house.

Lea and Dianna just hugged the giant tighter and it all made sense now.

Heather was starting to notice little things about Naya and these things were scaring her. They always shared their water bottles but lately Naya kept coming up with reason not to. She would say, "I'm feeling like I'm getting a cold and I don't want to get you sick." Heather was starting to think if Naya was drinking Vodka, her drink of choice, instead of water. Naya was also wearlng a lot of clothing, especially for it being September in California; especially when they went to bed. Naya normally wore next to nothing, but lately she was wearing actual clothes to bed. While Naya was still awesomely amazing to her considering what she did and she was affectionate with her, they had not made love since the incident. Heather suspected that she was cutting again. The thought that she had driven Naya back to these horrible habits made her physically ill.

Since Heather didn't know how best to talk to Naya about her sinking suspicions, she turned to Jenna, who she had become closer to, ever since she come over the morning after.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Jenna met her for brunch at the Alcove. It was one the cast's favorite places to eat breakfast. They were largely left alone by the paps and since it was relatively early on a Sunday morning, it was pretty empty. HeMo was deep in thought, trying to assess Naya's behaviors since the incident. She was so lost in her mind that she didn't even hear or see Jenna approach her.

Hey Hemo.

Heather jumped as she was shaken out of her train of thought.

'Mornin, darling. Thanks for meeting me so early. I have a photo shoot with Fitness magazine in the afternoon.

Ohhhh, no worries, Heath. Michael and I have plans after this anyways.

They were there so often that didn't even need to order; their breakfast came out shortly after Jenna arrrived.

So, Hemo, what's up?

The ease with which the cast interacted was built upon the fact that they were all just working actors when Glee started. They were all a bunch of unknown actors just hoping their pilot would get picked up by Fox and they could have steady employment. They were all around the same age and they all just got along so well. Jenna knew that there was a reason Heather wanted to meet without her having to ask.

Well, normally I would go to Naya about this, and I will...

but before I do, I just wanted to ask you if you think that Naya has been acting different lately?

Hmmmm, Jenna said, as she picked her steaming mug of coffee. Now, that you mention it, i think it is very subtle, but yes she has been.

Why? have you picked up on something?

Heather sighed as she began: Well, yea, it is a really subtle shift but I can feel it. The feeling that I am getting scares the shit out of me, Jenn. It is the same feeling I got right before I caught her cutting and downing that bottle of Goose 2 years ago.

Jenna and Heather nooded in silent understanding as they both thought back to that time...

Naya was an enigma. She had been an actress forever and she had honed her craft down to which persona she would portray. The thing is, there was one person where she didn't feel like she had to play her well-rehearsed characters. She didn't have to be "Flirty Naya," "Professional Naya," "Sexy Naya," "Angry Naya." With Heather, there was just something that made her true self swim up to the surface from the depths of her soul. She felt at ease to be herself. There was no one who ever made her feel like that. And it happened so fast.

They had all just finished shooting the 9 episodes that Fox had ordered after previewing the pilot. The cast went out to celebrate and they returned to Lea & Dianna's apartment to continue the party. Naya and Mark were casually dating, nothing serious. The cast of high school misfits got close relatively fast; friendships born out of long hours on set and in the tin shed. Naya was scrolling thru her iPhone when she saw Perez Hilton's photos of Mark cozy with another woman. She looked around to see where Mark was and he was outside with Cory. Their eyes met and he smiled at her, a genuine, warm smile. She didn't know who to believe. At that moment, Heather came over to her best friend.

She could tell that something was wrong as she sat on the couch. Everyone else was occupied, in conversation.

NayNay, you okay?

Naya didn't have to say anything. She just handed Heather her phone.

Her face fell and she scrolled over the article and saw the pictures.

It's not true, Naya. You know that Mark would never do that to you.

Naya was in panic mode as she is trying to remember where she was seen that blonde girl from,

Heath, I have seen that girl before. I just can't remember where or when, but i know that I have seen her.

Heather sat closer to Naya and gently placed a hand on Naya's forearm and started rub circles, as if to soothe the anger she could tell was simmering beneath the surface. It seemed to help, cause Naya began to relax and breathe.

There is only one way to find out, Nay. Just go and ask him.

Naya turned to face Heather and she saw a sad, apologetic face.

She got up from the couch and went right up to Mark.

We need to talk NOW MARK!

She drags him into Dianna's bedroom and slams the door behind them.

The party comes to an abrupt stop. Within minutes, all you can hear is Naya screaming:

"What the fuck, Mark. I can't believe you did this to me. With her, to top it off, of all people. You couldn't keep it inside of your pants, now could you?"

Mark then speaks:

"Naya, what the fuck are you talking about? C'mon babe. Calm down."

"Calm down, ohhh you want ME to calm down, huh? Well, Mark, tell me how to be calm after I see this- she held her iPhone right up to his face.

Yea, that's what I thought. You can't even deny it can you?"

Mark's eyes fall to the ground and the color from his face is drain.

"it's not what it looks like, Naya. You know how the paps get all these angles. She is nothing, she nothing to me."

"Bullshit. Salling. I've seen her around the set. i know that she has a thing for you. Well, she can have your cheating ass. I'm DONE. FUCK YOU MARK!"

With that Naya, slaps him across the face and storms out of the room.

Of course, everyone heard the argument. Once Naya emerged from the hallway, they tried to act like they didn't hear a single word. Kevin blasted the music and everyone danced and talked- anything to make Naya believe that they didn't just all hear that.

She bows her head and goes straight for the door. Immediately, HeMo is at her side. No words are necessary. With just a glance in each other eyes' they just had a conversation.

Heather takes Naya by the hand and they walk out of the house and into the dark of cool autumn night. She leads her to her car and she ushers her inside. Quickly, she runs to the driver's side door and starts the car. they hold hands over the center console as Naya looks out at the lights of Los Angeles and silently cries. Once they reach Naya's, Heather pulls out her spare key. She gently guides her best friend over the threshold and into her home.

Heather finally breaks the silence:

How bout I draw you a bath, Nay?

Naya just looks into those eyes and nods slightly. Heather goes into the master bath and draws her a milk and honey bath.

Okay, Naya, come in here.

Naya just looks like she is dead inside. Heather strips her of her clothing and helps her in the clawfoot tub.

I don't want to leave you alone Naya. Do you want me to stay?

Naya knows the one thing that will make it better; it was something that not even Heather could do for her. So, she just asks if she could have a couple of moments to herself. HeMo obliges saying, 'I am right out side the door, babe. Just call me," as she exits the master bathroom.

Naya gets out of the tub and finds what she desperately seeks: She takes the lid off of her toilet and fishes out an unopened bottle of Grey Goose, which will dull the pain as she untapes the thing she needs- her razorblade.

She settles back in the tub, guzzles the Grey Goose as she looks at the razor in her left hand. She tries to see the old scars. It has been so long since she has felt the urge that they look almost invisible. It has been through trial and error over the years that makes her a pro. She takes the blade and grazes the inner aspect of her right forearm. Not too deep, just enough to break the skin. As she moves the the blade purposefully across her cafe au lait skin, she can feel the pain ebb out of her. She makes another and another cut, seeing the blood drip into the water, turning it pink. She takes another gulp of the Goose, knowing that Heather will probably call out to her any minute. She ges out of the tub, hides her stash, and properly bandages her arm. She opens her bottom drawer, grabbing a familar long-sleeve t-shirt and cozy boy shorts. she wants to be the one to walk out the door, not have Heather have to come in and save her. For the first time around Heather, she feels like she has a character to play: Dejected Naya.

Heather looks to the door as it opens and see Naya standing there. she thinks to herself, I have never seen Naya wear that much clothing to bed. Well, maybe she is cold she deduces, as Naya walks toward her, more sad than angry as she says:

"I cannot believe this Heather. Mark cheated on me. With that bitch who has been flirting with him on set. What the fuck!"

"Naya, he is such an asshole for doing that to you."

"Why does this always happen to me?" Naya chokes out between sobs.

"Am I that damaged? Too fucked up to find love? What is wrong with me?

With that Heather, took her hand and pointed Naya's chin her direction- "Now you listen good, Rivera. YOU did absolutely nothing wrong. Got it? There is nothing wrong with you and you are not fucked up. Mark is the one who is fucked up; he is the one who did this. So, DO NOT think that this all somehow your fault. Okay?"

Naya just nods as she goes for the crook of Heather's shoulder and cries.


	3. Chapter 3

Sexy times after all the pain and angst. Thought it was about time ;D Hope you all enjoy it! It rated M for a reason.

An hour later, they are in Naya's bed. Heather is laying back on the headboard as Naya is lying on top, with the back of her nestled in Heather's chest.

"You know what, Nay. You deserve so much better than Mark. Seriously..."

Naya doesn't say anything. She just turns around to look into those piercing blue eyes. What she sees is pure love; a look she has never seen before from her.

Heather looked away, wondering if Naya now knew the secret she has been keeping for so long. She yawns, in an attempt to distract Naya from what just happened. Naya leans in and gives Heather a kiss on the cheek.

She pulls back slightly and now they are in each others breathing space- their breaths intermingling. Heather cups Naya's face and before she can stop herself, she closes the miniscule distance between them. Their lips meet and just for a moment, they linger, feeling how their lips are perfectly fitted together. Naya begins to deepen the kiss, tasting Heather's raspberry lip gloss and when she swipes her tongue along Heather's bottom lip, she grants her access and Naya can taste the Juicy Fruit gum that Heather was chewing earlier in the day. Time stood still as they continued to explore and kiss each other with such gentleness and passion. Heather broke the kiss, to catch her breath, and this time, she was the one who pulled back, gazing into dark chocolate brown eyes. She sees nothing but love reflected back at her.

Heather knows that Naya loves her in the same way that she loves her. Beyond a love shared between best friends, this was a love reserved for a soulmate, a missing puzzle piece.

Naya draws her back as her hand finds its way behind Heather's head, guiding her back into her arms and onto her lips. Heather never felt a kiss so soft and sensual. She was getting turned on as she pulled Naya on top of her. Heather moans loudly as she felt Naya's hand creep up her sides to cup the sides of her breasts. Naya was spurned on, as she kneaded the supple breasts, and traced circles over her now erect nipples. Heather elicited a moan from Naya as she attacked that freckle on Naya's right shoulder, a sensitive spot. Naya inserted her thigh in between her best friend's creamy white thighs and she began to gyrate her hips, feeling friction where she desperately need it most. Heather rose up the meet Naya's up, her thigh rubbing up and down Naya's nether regions. Naya decided that she needed to see Heather naked now, she she tugs her t-shirt up over head and pulls down her boy shorts. Naya stares at Heather's breathtakingly beautiful body; her breasts, her taut abs with the angel tattoo at the juncture of lower abs meeting her right leg, but then she saw how wet she was: glistening moisture pooling on her cave injecting her musk into the air. Naya remembers that she needs to leave her top on, so she takes charge before HeMo can pull it off her. She laid herself atop the dancer. The way their bodies fit together, it was like it was meant to be. They felt their breasts touch, their mounds touched as the both let out cries of want.

Heather dared to flip Naya on her back and began to kiss her body down, but Naya just rolled back so she was straddling Heather. She could smell how aroused she was and when she slowly drew her pointer finger thru her slit, she saw Naya jerk up in pleasure.

"Ohhhhh god, Nay. Fuck..."

Naya captured her lips as she continued to flirt with her entrance. Teasing and rubbing, feeling Heather's wetness coat her fingers. She was unprepared for when Heather reached in between their bodies and began to mimic Naya's motions on her own sex.

Heath... ugggh right there baby. don't stop.

Soon, they developed a rythym that was all their own. riding each other fingers, grinding their bodies in time.

They both kept pumping in and out 1 then 2 fingers deep

Aaaahhhh so close, babe...fuck yes. right there

fuck naya im going to come

fuck me too

They thrusted in one last time, bucked their hips up, and engaged in a hot kiss as they both simultaneously found that elusive release. they could feel their walls clench tight onto the fingers as waves of pleasure rolled out from their centres out of their limbs. the stayed tangled, riding out every last bit of their orgasms. Naya came one more time as they both removed their fingers.

uggggghhh shit baby, naya exclaimed, as she felt her walls clamp from the absence of heather. She went down and french kissed Naya's most intimate part, lapping up her nectar, delving her tongue inside of her sensitive cave. she rubbed tight slow circles around Naya's bud, jutting out from the wetness.

heather fuck i cant take any more...ohhh myyy godd

fuuuck baby ahhhhhhhhhhhh

as she came undone yet again, this time, with a flood of her sweet juices, enter heather's willing mouth.

Naya was trying to catch her breath and process what has just happened between her supposed best friend.

Holy Shit, she thought to herself. What did we just do? I just had the best sex I ever have with a girl. Not just any girl, but Heather, my bestie. Fuck!

On the other side of the bed, Heather was blissed out, her head in the clouds. She loved Naya so much and they just made love. There was no comparision- that was hands down the best sex she had every had, all with her Naya. Heather instinctively could feel that Naya felt confused, so she reached out and lovely stoked Naya's back, spooning her, and enveloping her in a warm embrace. Naya melted into her and her breath slowed down. Heather broke the silence:

"Naya, that was...wow..."

"Yes, that is certainly one word for it."

"Are you okay? I mean, are we okay?"

"I am more than okay, Heather. What we just did, that was mindblowing. I have never ever experienced anything like what we just did. And was sooooo fucking good..." Naya said as goofly grin widenedn on her face. She spun around, to look Heather in the eyes to prove it. She caressed her cheek and kissed her softly.

Heather was unsure if Naya just thought it was just a hook-up, because to her, it was making love to the person she loved most in the crazy, stinkin' world. She was in love with her best friend and she had been for a very long time. She could only think of one thing to say:

" I love you Naya. I do. With all of my heart and soul. i am so in love with you."

Naya knew it; she felt it every time they were together. She was overcome with emotion as she gazed into pools of ocean blue and said, "God, Heather, I am head over in heels in love with you. I am beyond in love with you."

They finally saw each other completely, with that last wall between them, crumbling all around them. All that was left was the pair of them, 2 people who allowed a love so overwhelming and encompassing, it had to be fated.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hey everyone! i hope that all of you are enjoying this fic. I think it is really different from the other HeYa fics I have read. I don't really know how I have gotten them to this point and where it will lead, but I am encouraged to __solider on and see where the inspiration leads me. I know this is very dark and angst-ridden; HeYa are endgame, as are Achele, but part of the beauty lies in the struggles it take to get there. Please bear with me!_

Naya slipped out of Heather's loving arms and went to her bathroom.

She knew she shouldn't do it. Wasn't making love to Heather enough to soothe the beast within? Naya had to do something. Snix was threatening re-emerge from dormancy. She told herself, just one last time, as she retrieved the tools of her trade. She sat on the toilet seat, finished off the rest of the Goose, and took the razor to the upper portion of her thigh. Just one long cut will soothe the beast, she reasoned. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the power, feeling the edge of the blade slice open her skin.

"Oh my God! Naya! What are you doing?"

Naya's eyes shoot open as Heather is rushing towards her as Naya completes the cut. The blood oozes out, dripping down the length of her slender thigh.

"NAYA! Baby. Why did you do this? Then, she sees the bandages on Naya's right forearm and she realizes why Naya ended up with her shirt still on as they made love.

She bursts into tears as she looks at Naya with confusion.

Naya is speechless. She doesn't know what to say. What possible explanation could she give? That cutting gives her solace in chaos; it makes her feel vibrant and alive instead of empty and dead; that she can't even remember why she started cutting in the first place; that is has been the one thing that has gotten her through? How could she explain?

She couldn't find the words she needed. She said the only think that made sense:

I am sorry. I am so sorry.

At that, Heather comes towards her, looking at her Naya. She seems so small and lost, her face has a pained expression mixed with a calmness that is unnerving. Naya is clutching gauze to the fresh wound. She just keep saying it over and over:

Sorry. I am so sorry, baby. I am sorry.

Naya collapses into a ball on the tile floor and it gets to be too much. She passes out.

When Naya comes to, she in a hospital room. Heather is by her side, holding her hand and her mom is on the other side. She cannot remember what happened. She tries to get up but something is holding her back. She looks at her wrists and sees restraints on them.

Ohhhh fuck. It's happening again.

She screams at loud: GET ME OUT OF HERE! NOT AGAIN!

Heather is stunned. What does she mean, "Not again?"

Shhhhhhh baby, her mother says gently. you know that this is necessary if you get admitted after cutting.

Heather just sits there as she realizes that Naya has been hospitalized for this before. Her heart breaks in a million little pieces. Naya needed so much help. Help that she could not provide. She never felt more helpless in her life.

Heather, could you go and get Dr. Limjoco, tell her that Naya is awake.

She nods, grateful that she could do this one thing. HeMo returns with Jamie and she smiles at Naya.

Welcome back, Naya.

Naya barely acknowledges Dr. Limjoco. She knows the spiel she will be subjected to.

Before Jaime can start, Naya says it for her:

Now Naya, you know that you have to be in restraints until we are sure you are not a danger to yourself or others. You are on 5150- she says in a sing-song voice, as if singing this information could make it easier to hear. What now Doc? Ohh yeah, you will ask me what caused me to cut, right? You know what I say to that? None of your fucking business.

Yolanda placed a hand on her daughter's should about to scold her when Jaime just responds:

Naya, you are my fucking business when you end up in my hospital, unconscious with six fresh cuts after being in remission for 3 years. You are my fucking business. Now, if you don't want to discuss in the open, we can talk privately. You know how this works, Naya, You give a little, I give a little.

Naya just shut down and remained silent. Until she saw her beautiful Heather run out of the room in tears. Then, seeing the girl she loved cry over something she did, made her weep violently.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM NOW.

Yolanda started to cry and wanted to reach out to her daughter but Dr. Limjoco grabbed her by the arm and ushered her to the door.

Once they left, Naya just cried. I scared her away. How could she love me now?


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Howdy everyone! sorry it has taken me so long to update. this has been a very difficult chapter to write, hence the delay in updating. i should point out that I am a nurse, which obviously influences the way with which I deal with Naya's mental health. I am also sorry this chapter is so short, but I promise more is coming, sooner rather than later. just a reminder that this is a flashback; Heather is remembering the last time she saw Naya in such a state of disarray. She is still with Jenna having brunch when these memories come rushing back to her. thanks to those of you who have decided to follow and even favorite this story. it means the world to me and i am beyond honored. please feel free to offer any kind of constructive criticism. also, i guess i feel the need to explain WHY this is a RPF and not a Brittana FF. The reasons why I go there is because the bond of friendship between Naya and Heather just gives me soooo many feels. I agree that knowing they are besties in real life laid the groundwork for Brittany and Santana. They have so much chemistry together and a lot of that was borne from knowing each on such a deep and personal level. I feel like this way, i get to have my cake and eat it too! I can write about HeYa & Brittana. Obviously, I do not own GLEE and I unfortunately do not know Naya and Heather on a personal level; this is all from my mind. And away we go..._

Heather ran out of the hospital until she was outside, the California sun streaming down. She couldn't stop crying until she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She looked down and saw caramel colored arm tug around her waist. She quickly turned around and saw Yolanda crying too. After a while, Yolanda led her to a bench and they sat there, trying to absorb what was happening.

Naya has done this before?

Yes, Heather. About 5 years ago, she was here. We all thought she was better. She got the help she needed. I never thought we would have to be back here again. Can you tell me what happened, Heather?

She blinked back tears as she wondered what she could tell Naya's mother. She simply states that she found Naya in the bathroom, cutting. Yolanda closed her eyes, as if she knew what that image looked like.

That was how I found her, too, Heather. I walked in on her cutting herself. I just felt so helpless. I didn't know why she was doing it.

Heather didn't know why she was doing it either. Was it because of Mark? Or was it because of what they had done? Or, even more heartbreaking to the blonde, what they had professed to each other?

Naya was in her bed, lost in her thoughts.

How could you be so stupid, Rivera. Now, Heather probably thinks this is all of her fault. It finally happened, the thing you've wanted most in this world. And there you go and ruin it, as always.

Dr. Limjoco enters the room and just watches she as begin to cry again.

Naya, I know that you don't want to talk, least of all to me, but I am here for you. I want to help you. I know that you mother and your friend and are very concerned for you. Let us help you.

I don't deserve your help, Naya muttered under her breath. I just fucked it all up. And now, she is never going to understand.

Jamie walked up to Naya and looked her deep in the eyes before she undid one of her restraints. She took a seat next to the bed and let Naya continue.

She won't get it. Fuck, I don't even know what came over me. I thought that I was done with all of this, Doc. It just came out of nowhere; the urge to cut. I mean I was upset that Mark cheated on me, but thru that, I found out that Heather loved me too. The woman I have loved for so long told me that she loved me and I go and do this? What is she going to think?

Heather sat on the bench while Yolanda went to go and get them coffee. She didn't know what to think. One minute, they were making love, declaring their love for one another, the next, she walking in on Naya cutting herself. She needed to talk to her and to try and understand what was going on.

Jamie knew Naya. She had been treating her on-and-off for the past 6 years. She knew when to push the Latina and when to back off. She learned the spoken and unspoken language of Naya. She knew that at that exact moment, Naya needed to hear what she was thinking; to give her professional, expert opinion.

Now, Naya. Slow down, okay. We can figure this out together, right? Take a deep breath. C'mon. You don't want me to sedate you, do you? Or to reapply the restraint I just took off? She knew that those were the last things her patient would want. In giving her these two options, it would force Naya to stop and just breathe.

Naya took a couple of deep breaths in and out, closing her eyes, trying to calm herself down.

Good, Naya. Okay, so why don't we start with what you last remember? Take your time. There is no rush.

Well, umm. The last thing I remember was... I was sitting on top of my toliet seat. I had just finished off the last of the Goose. It felt hot as it slid down my throat. It felt good, but not as good as what I was about to do. She closed her eyes, trying to replay the scene. I took the razor and said to myself, 'This is the last time, Snix. The last time I let you win.' I took the blade and resolved to make the last cut- on my upper right thigh. I did it so slowly, to savor it- to feel the edge slice my skin...

Ohhhhh fuck.

It's okay, Naya. Keep going...

No, Jamie. It's not okay. She walked in on me. Heather. She saw me. She saw me cutting. FUCK. oh my god. oh my god.

Dr. Limjoco could see Naya unspooling before her, like a ball of yarn unraveling to a single strand. She put her hand on top of Naya's forearm, to ground her back to reality.

Naya. Naya. Look at me. Yes, that did happen, yesterday.

Wait, I've been out a whole day?! she said incredulously.

Jamie simply nodded and continued. Heather called 911 and then she called your mom. Yolanda indicated to her that they should bring you here. Heather rode the ambulance over here with you and your mom met you here. They have been here since 0300. When you got here, you were still unconscious. Once we found no physical cause for your state, we bandaged your cuts and admitted you here. I told them it would be best to just let you wake up when you were ready. You have not received any extra sedatives, I promise. I know how much you hate them.

Naya took a sharp intake of breath as she absorbed everything Jamie had said, filling in the gaps in her mind that had brought her from the happiest moment in her life to her apparent worst.

Just at that moment, there was a knock on the door. Jaime got up and to answer it as Naya kept rewinding and pressing play on the instant she was caught red-handed by the blue-eyed blonde she loved.

She didn't want Naya to see Heather yet, so she told her to go home, get some rest and come back tomorrow. As much as Heather didn't want to leave her, she didn't want to make things worse either. Jaimie told her that she could write Naya a note; she would make sure to give it to her.

Naya- The doctor thinks that it is best that I leave for the night. I don't want to do anything to upset you and, as much as I'd rather just be here, I think I should follow her advice. I promise to be back here first thing in the morning. Please believe when I say that I love you and I am not going anywhere. Pinky swear. -Heather


	6. Chapter 6

Heather-

Heath-

Hey HeMo...

What... ohhh hey Jenn. sorry. was just thinking...

I know, me too.

It can't be that, right? She cannot be doing that all again? Ohhhh God, Jenna. But what if she is? What if she is cutting again? And drinking? I just-

And with that, Heather erupts into tears, unable to contain her fears that her Naya was indeed doing what she feared the most. Jenna got up and squeezed unto the bench. She hugged HeMo and the whispered in her ear, "Let's go back to my place, ok? I don't want to risk any of the paps seeing you like this." Heather nods in understanding as Jenna holds onto her friend's hand, leading her to her white BMW. HeMo pulls it together enough to drive thru the streets of Los Feliz, into Hollywood and over to WeHo, where Jenna lives.

They go inside her home and Heather is overwhelmed again. Her thoughts all jumbled together in her head and red flags keep coming up, one, by one, by one, over the past three months since everything had happened. If Heather was honest really honest with herself, she could recognize them. She just so overwhelmed with what she was dealing with. Know that things were getting back to normal, she could notice these minute things: the clothes, the water bottle. She cursed under her breath for not seeing it faster. She was so angry with herself for pushing Naya towards that ugly, destructive path. One that she hoped and prayed they would never see again.

Jenna just held her, not really knowing what to say, because she suspected that Naya was engaging in self-harming again. Just thinking about that, all that her friends had gone thru the last time this happened, it just tore her up inside. She began to cry, too.

After awhile, she could see Heather slow down her sobs and even out her breathing. Perhaps it was out of sheer exhaustion that Heather had fallen asleep in her arms. Jenna slowly disengaged her arms around the blonde dancer and laid her down on the couch. She called up Heather's PR to cancel the photo shoot that she was scheduled to do that afternoon, stating simply that Heather was completely exhausted and could not go to the shoot today. She called Michael and told him that she couldn't meet him but if he could come over, instead. Now, she needed someone to comfort her, while Heather was in a deep, sound sleep. She had figured Heath hadn't gotten much sleep in the past couple of days.

She covered her friend with the blanket she always kept folded by the sofa and bent down to kiss her forehead, glad that Heather had been able to voice her concerns to someone about Naya.

A couple of hours later, Heather bolted up, unsure of where she was. She blinked once, twice-

Hey Heath-

Jenn? What happened?

I think that you were just so exhausted, physically and mentally, with all of this that you fell asleep. Don't worry. I called Meghan and told her that you were to exhausted to make the photo shoot. She wants you to call her tomorrow morning so that you can reschedule. I was about to make some tea, would you like some.

Yay, thanks, girl. What time is it?

It's 6 o'clock, H.

What! I slept for that long! I have to do.. and

Heather- stop for a moment. Your body needed to crash. Everything else can wait till tomorrow morning, okay? Besides, it's Sunday. Just relax, please.

You're completely right. Okay. Stopping- this is me stopping. What kind of tea do you have, Jenn?

Heather made her out to her car after they shared a pot of Jenna's favorite tea: Pineapple Lychee Hibiscus. She knew where she needed to go.

She arrived on Naya's doorstep and used her key to get in. She didn't call her because she didn 't want to give her advance notice of her arrival. As she slowly and quietly turned to key the lock, she opened the door. She was bracing herself for the worst. Last time this all happened, Naya's place was a wreck: empty Grey Goose bottles all over, dirty dishes piled high in the sink, Glee scripts strewn about, clothes discarded haphazardly on the floor. All of that was so out of character for the very neat and orderly Naya that Heather knew. So, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that Naya's first floor was meticulously clean and spotless. She knew that Naya was home, so she started up the stairs. She could hear Naya talking behind her bedroom door. Heath knew that no one else was home; that Naya was talking to herself. She knew that was one of the red flags that Jaime had pointed out the her to look out for. She took a deep breath in and out. She could hear Naya clearly:

_fucking stupid. what made you think it would be different this time huh? she loves you. she loves you so much she goes and fucks cory, of all people. no. no, she does loves me. i know she does. i love her so much. after everything we have been through, i will not doubt her love for me. i just... i just need her so much... FUCK. this hurts too much. hemo, i need you..._

At that, Heather opened the door to Naya's bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N:** I have been up all night, trying to get this chapter out of my subconscious. Translating all these feels unto words on a page has been very difficult because I want to get it just right; it is a pivotal chapter in this journey for Heather and Naya. Writing this particular chapter has been the most difficult one yet. So, thru my tears and my own angst, I give you Chapter 7._

Last night was the first night that Naya and Heather had slept apart since the incident. She was afraid to admit it, but she was secretly and silently glad that HeMo wasn't there. She had things she had to do, things that she desperately ached for, that she couldn't do in the blonde dancer's presence. Especially since the last time Snix fully emerged, Heather was the one that found her. She was admitted at Passages for a 28-day program and then was in intensive therapy with Jamie since then. Then was about 3 years ago, right when they booked Glee. She winced in pain as she recalled that tumultuous time in her life. She never thought she would end up in this mind frame ever again. But here she was, upon the threshold. She was outside and she knew that her brief lapses in the past 3 months were looming over her head like an impending thunder and lightening storm threatening over the horizon.

She was being proactive this time around. She told Jamie all about it , even Snix coming back. Naya showed her the fresh cuts. She promised to call and reach out to her whenever she felt the want, the need to overpower her. But tonight was different and she could feel it in the air. Tonight was a turning point. If she could do this, rather if she could not do this- the cutting and drinking- then, she knew that she could make it different this time.

Naya had did what Jamie told her. She called Jaime and told her that she was alone. She admitted to her that she felt Snix coming on tonight and that she needed to fight against her from taking over her mind and her actions. Jamie came over immediately.

She had been with Naya for the past hour. They had sat cross-legged on the floor. At this point, Jamie had become more than her psychiatrist. The doctor was in the actress' inner circle. She became the protector of all of Naya's deepest and darkest fears and secrets. Being privy to that information, albeit in a professional manner, was not something Jamie took lightly. Of course, she signed all the confidentially agreements, even though she vowed to Naya that no one would ever sway her loyalty away from her. Naya trusted her, but her PR team insisted that they were just covering the all the bases. So, here they were, somewhere in the space between professionalism and friendship, on a nondescript Sunday evening.

They had just taken a brief break to get some beverages before delving into the heart of what led Naya to call her doctor friend.

Now, Naya, I want you to get comfortable. Take a few deep breaths. Let's do it together, okay.

With that, Jamie closed her eyes, and Naya followed suit.

With your next breath, completely empty your lungs. Then, inhale deep and purposefully, filling your lungs with as much air as possible, starting from your core out. The, exhale out, slowly and fully. Let's do this three times, okay. Ready, Nay?

One

Two

and

Three

Exhale.

Naya felt centered and ready.

mmm'kay James (as she tended to call Jamie, whenever she wanted to talk to her as her friend, knowing that she would act as both doctor and friend at this very moment)

Okay. Naya, take this mirror. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and just say whatever you are feeling right at this moment, whatever it is. i am right here for you, okay?

Naya reached out for the handle of the mirror and Dr. Limjoco handed it over. She took a hold of the Lefty's right hand and squeezed, making her look up and into her eyes.

You can do this, Nay. I know you can. Trust in yourself as much as I do.

Naya smiled slightly and hesitantly at James. She wanted to believe her.

She turned the mirror around and held it right in front of her face. She closed her eyes and took one more deep breath before opening her chocolate eyes.

Silence hung in the air as Naya took in the image before her. The words came tumbling out of her mouth, with no regard to disconnection of her filter between her brain and her mouth. She knew that she had to do this. She knew that Jaime was right. She could do this. Face Snix once and for all. She wanted to and she had to, because Naya was finally ready. The reason she was ready was because of the love of a certain woman. She looked at herself straight in the mirror and let the words come to her tongue before she spit them out:

_fucking stupid. what made you think it would be different this time huh? she loves you. she loves you so much she goes and fucks cory, of all people. no. no, she does loves me. i know she does. i love her so much. after everything we have been through, i will not doubt her love for me. i just... i just need her so much... FUCK. this hurts too much. hemo, i need you..._

Suddenly, the knob of the door was slowly and almost silently turning. Jamie saw it but Naya had the mirror held up in front of her. She continued on:

_i never needed anyone like this before and she needs me too. i just fucking love her so much. so much that it overwhelms and drowns me. i didn't what love was. i did not know what loving someone more that yourself feels like. being in love feels with heather makes me feel complete, like she was this piece of me out there in the world that I had no idea i was missing. FUCK. i just, love her so much. and i cant fuck this up. i cant. i cannot ruin this. I won't let Snix ruin this._

Jamie saw the door open as Heather just stood there in the threshold, sliently crying. HeMo took the scene before her and she felt a wave of relief wash over her. She was expecting the absolute worse: to find Naya with a razorblade in her left hand and a bottle of Grey Goose in her right. She blinked several times to ensure that what she was seeing was real. Jamie shot her a look to be quiet as she heard her beloved breathe through hot, angry tears, before exclaiming:

_FUCK YOU SNIX. You won't win this time, you hear me? I have a chance to be happy with the love of my life. Someone who loves me for me, all of me. This feeling makes me so scared. So fucking scared. Because now that I know what love can be, i don't ever want to lose it, to lose my Heather. She is all i never knew I needed. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity FUCK! This is too hard James...I don't think I can...She doesn't deserve me. I don't deserve her. She didn't sign up for this train wreck. _

Naya whispered out, almost to herself, before she dropped the mirror, eyes shut, while her body convulsed, full of contempt, hate, and shame.

Heather couldn't bear to hear Naya talk that way. Didn't she know that she loved her no matter what? That she loved all of her, all her perfection and even more so, her imperfections. Heather knew that Naya was her soulmate, that it was fated by God. A love like theirs could not be explained in any other way. Her heart broke into a million little pieces for her lover. Before she could even look at Jaime, she ran over to her Naya, with the lightening quick graceful steps of a dancer and enveloped her in her arms.

Naya dropped the mirror in shock. She knew whose arms those were. She knew without even opening her eyes. Heather.


	8. Chapter 8

Naya was frozen. She couldn't speak. Her mind was racing.

This cannot be happening. Heather couldn't be here, not now. Oh my god. What did she hear? Did she hear what I said? FUCK.

She was shaken out of her thoughts as Heather just rocked her back and forth, saying, "I'm sorry," over and over and over again.

Time elapsed...

Slowly, Heather could feel Naya start to pull away from her arms and recoil into a ball on the ground. She tucked her chin under her knees and started to sob, the tears streaming like rivers down her cheeks.

Heather never felt more helpless in her entire life. She watched the person she loved the most pull away from her and just cry, with so much pain and hurt in her eyes. Seeing Naya like this mad her cry even harder, out of sheer frustration that she could not do anything to help Naya.

Jamie let them cry for a couple of minutes: Naya, a ball on the floor and Heather, on her knees, as close to Naya as possible without actually touching her. She figured that they all needed a moment of silence. As she heard Naya's weeping start to slow down and her breath begin to even out, she knew that Heather's would too.

Okay, now. Naya? Heather? Let's take a couple of deep breaths okay?

They both nodded and the three of them took 5 deep, cleansing breaths together.

Great.

She looked at the two of them. Naya looked completely spent. Heather looked heartbroken and forlorn.

Jamie knows that after what transpired, Naya will not talk. So, she directs her focus on Heather.

Heather, can you tell me why you are here?

She looks at Naya first. It almost seems like Naya is asleep with her eyes wide open; she is there physically, but her mind and spirit are not. She has that look in her eye that Heather saw right before she cut her thigh in the bathroom 3 years ago. She shudders at the memory, knowing that that is where Naya's mind is- she has hit rock bottom again. Only this time, Naya has her and James there. There is no Goose and no razor blades. Just mugs of tea and pillows on Naya's bedroom floor. She looks to Jamie and responds:

uhh I- I- I HAD TO COME TO NAYA. I mean, there was this need that I felt... like she needed me to be here. I felt like I was magnet and I was getting pulled here as I drove over here as fast as I could.

Ok, Hemo. What was so important, that you had to go 80 mph thru Hollywood to get here?

Heather needs to take a moment and remember what that thing was.

She closes her eyes to concentrate and the images of the morning replay in her mind: breakfast with Jenna, seeing all the red flags...

I saw them I saw them all, James. They were all right there. Plain as day and I finally put it all together. Fuck, Naya, I am so sorry it took me so long to see it, baby.

Saw what, Heath? I'm a little lost here.

Ohhhh, the red flags you told me about, Doc. This morning, as I was having brunch with Jenna, I had a flashback to when I caught Naya cutting 3 years ago. I remembered all the warning signs you had told me look out for. You told me to be vigilent and I am, err well I was, until all this shit happened and I obviously wasn't as vigilent as I was before because I know. I know that Naya has been cutting and drinking again.

With that admission, Heather starts to cry again. James gets up to console her, knowing that while Naya would want to be the one to hug her, she cannot.

Naya just stares blanky at Heather and James as she sees them embrace. She heard everything that Heather just said.

_so you thought you were slick huh. keeping all this on the DL. just another failure to add to list. look at her. she is crying over you. you did that. worthless. you should just get up and go to the bathroom. you know you want to. the goose and blade are there. come on. they won't even notice you. the bathroom is right there. 3 steps and you'll be in heaven. the safe haven..._

Naya screams an gutteral moan that stops both of them as they rush over to her.

NO! NO SNIX! NO MORE! I am DONE.

With that, she collapses into Heather's arms, clinging onto her like a liferaft in chaotic sea. Heather holds her up and Naya just keeps saying it over and over again.

Jamie knows what was going on in Naya's head: that Snix came out, cajoling Naya out of her mental haze, trying to get her to go in the bathroom to drink and cut. She knows that Naya needs this- to keep saying NO to Snix. She just rubs Naya and encourages her to continue.

Okay, Naya.

Naya calms at the sound of James' voice. She knows me so well, Naya thinks to herself, almost as well as Heather does. Naya is slowly being brought back into her body, as her mind, body, and spirit are reintegrated. She can feel Jamie's soothing hand rubbing her back. She feel Heather's arms holding her body up. She feel pins-and-needles all over her body, as if all the feeling is coming back to her physical body. The first thing she does, as soon as she feels like she can physically move, is to wrap her arms around Heather and cry.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: I apologize for the long wait, everybody. After ending things the way I did with the last chapter, i didn't quite know how to pick up the story. After watching last night's new Glee episode, I decided to try and write a chapter. I knew it would keep my mind off , what I thought was a horrible episode. I just re-read the whole thing so far and got inspired. I apologize for the shortness of it; i just need to get the rust off and I promise the next chapter will be better, in terms of length and plot advancement. Thanks to those of you who have decided to follow this story and those of you have taken it one step further and decided to favorite Addicted. I never ever imagined that anyone would read my stories and I am beyond honored. Please feel free to leave me comments. I would love to hear from you. So, without further ado, I give you the next chapter._

Sunlight is peering through the curtains in Naya's bedroom.

It wakes Heather up, as she squints her eyes, trying to adjust to the warm rays of light. It takes a minute for her to orient herself. She feels Naya stir in her arms as she recalls what happened last night.

Jamie was there, helping Naya confront Snix, her inner demon. She told her that Naya had called her because she felt the temptation coming on and that she needed her help to fight against it. Heather remembers walking in the middle of their session, seeing Naya talk to herself in the mirror and hearing her speak in a tone of voice that made her close her eyes in pain. She remembers running to Nay, to comfort her, then they were both crying. The memory alone was starting to get her teary. Heather could feel Naya move in her arms, beginning to wake up. She kissed her on the forehead, coaxing her awake.

hey there, gorgeous, Heath says to Naya

hmmmmmm

sleep well?

i always sleep well when you are here.

Naya felt the pounding of her head as she awakens into consciousness. It was the type of headache she got if she had drank way too much the night before or if she was emotionally spent. She was trying hard to remember which was the cause of her pain. Heather picked up on it immediately.

babe, are you okay? you look like you are in pain.

Naya tried to brush her off.

umm, yeah, no, i am okay, hemo, really.

Heather looked deep into naya's eyes and knew that she was downplaying it. She disengaged from Naya's arms to go into her bathroom. She came out with a glass of water and Naya's migraine medicine.

You can't hide from me, Miss Rivera. i know your tricks too well.

Naya tried unsuccessfully to hide the smile creeping across her face, as she took the pills from Heather's open palm and gulped down the glass of water.

I am going to make us breakfast. Remember, we have a session with Jamie today at 11 am.

Naya blinks as last night is coming back to her in bits and pieces.

Okay, baby, sounds great. I am so hungry. i can't remember the last time I ate.

Heather boops Naya in the nose, then kisses her before heading for her door.

Go back to sleep and I will bring you breakfast in bed when I am done, 'kay?

A girl could get used to that, you know, Naya says as she winks at her lover.

Heather returns back to her, kissing her full on the lips. She takes her hand up to Naya's chin and directs her to look right at her.

I am trusting you enough to leave you alone, okay. If you feel Snix coming, please call me, okay? I'll be here in a flash. I love you so much, Nay.

Naya nods and kisses her back.

Okay, babydoll. I promise.

With that, Heather skips out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Naya lies back down on the pillows and closes her eyes as the events of last night begin unfolding. She can feel the effects the medicine begin to take affect as she falls back asleep.

Heather brings them breakfast-in-bed, all of Naya's favorites: pancakes, crisp bacon, fresh squeezed OJ and a cup of coffee. They eat then get ready to go to Jamie's home in the Hollywood Hils.

They arrived at 11:00 am on the dot. Naya is her first appointment of the day. In fact, she was her only appointment today. This was a part of the arrangement. Whenever Naya needed to see Jamie on a professional basis, she would be the only patient for the entire day. This was to protect Naya's privacy and to keep Jamie's anonimity. She was a sought after psychiatrist, due to her expertise, her ability to be discreet, and the reputation that preceded her. Jamie was well-known within the inner workings of Hollywood and she treated many celebrities. However, once it was known that an actor was seeing her, it immediately meant that the actor was having difficulties, which could hinder the actor's employment.

Naya rang her doorbell and she could hear Jamie's Boston terrier, Fenway, and her Pug, Yankee, scurry to the door, barking excitedly.

Fen! Yank! Get back here! It's just Nay and Hemo, she says, as she opens the door.

The dogs jump up and down, recognizing them immediately. As soon as they are inside, they shower the dogs with affection.

Good morning, ladies.

Hey, James.

It always made them laugh, whenever Jamie called out their names. It was because Jamie went to medical school at Harvard and became a Red Sox fan. Her partner, Jenny, was raised in New Jersey and grew up a Yankee fan. They met in Fenway Park, when the Yanks were in town. Jenny was at MIT at the time, getting her Ph.D in Genetics. They were perfect of each other, minus being fans of rival baseball teams. Naming their dogs Fenway and Yankee was their compromise.

Jenny emerged from the kitchen and the dogs ran to her.

Ohhh, hey Nay. Hemo.

She walked up to them and embraced them both. She then kissed her wife, saying, I guess that is my cue to get out of here. It great seeing you two. We'll have to do dinner soon, yes? It's been too long.

Sounds like a plan, Jenny, Naya responds. I'll make sure to figure the next time we are all free. You are right, it has been too long.

Jenny kisses her wife good-bye one more time as she heads out the door.

Awwwww, they both exclaim.

You two are just too adorable.

Jamie begins to blush as she says, Well, we are still newlyweds, after all.

It was true. Jamie and Jenny had their commitment ceremony 5 months ago and Naya and Heather were in attendance. The two Js were constantly teasing and pestering the two of to make it official and just get married already. Naya and Heather both knew that their friends meant well and they couldn't deny that that was on both of their minds. Of course, this was all before the drama that had occurred 3 months earlier.

Heather and Naya just smile at the admission.

Can I get you guys anything before we begin?

Sure, James. i think just some water for me, Naya answers.

Yeah, that sounds good.

Jamie disappears into the kitchen as they make themselves comfortable on the couch.

Jamie reappears with 3 bottles of SmartWater and hands one each to Heather and Naya.

Okay, ladies. Are we ready to start?

Naya looks to Heather and takes a hold of her hand. She then turns to Jamie and nods her head.

She answers for the both of them: Yes, Jamie, we are ready.


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N:** I apologize for the delay. I have been working on another FF, "Between the Lines," my first attempt with Achele/Faberry as the main couple and heYa/Brittana in the background, with a focus on BROTP Riveragron. Much thanks to all of you for taking the time to read, follow, and favorite this story! As always, any constructive criticism is welcome!_

Heather is sitting outside, looking out towards Los Angeles. Jamie and Jenny's home is high above in the Hollywood Hills and has one of the most breathtaking views of L.A. that Hemo has ever seen. It a perfect California day: the sun is shining, the sky is pristine blue without a cloud or smog in sight. Whenever they come over, she always comes out here to think and to decompress. Right now, Nay is talking to James, 1-on-1. Her time will be coming up next.

She was trying to process everything she had gone thru over the past 3 months. Heather finally chose Naya; it was a non-decision. When she was going to break-up with Taylor, he sensed it and they mutually ended the relationship. He was hurt and so was she. They were each other's first love but they both knew that they were vastly different people than they met six years ago. Taylor was not surprised when Heather finally confessed that she was in love with someone else named Naya Rivera. He was the great, stand-up guy and friend that she needed in that moment. They always knew that they would be in each other's lives because, after all, they were best friends first. It was just going to take time to adjust to their new situation.

Heather took some time before she went to Naya. She wanted to be in the right frame of mind and didn't want Naya to think she was just a rebound romance. It was quite opposite, in fact. She knew, deep down, in her heart of hearts, that Naya was "the one."

Once she finally told Naya that she was free and that she chose to be with her, Naya just kissed her over and over until infinity, or that's what it felt like to her. Heather laughed, remembering how fast things went from that point, knowing that they were the epitome of how fast lesbians move in a relationship. The thing was that they all ready knew everything about each other: the best, the worst, the faults, the insecurities, the picadillos that made them uniquely Heather or Naya. They were madly-in-love and didn't see the point in wasting any more time. They made love, this time as girlfriends. Heather told her that she loved her for as long as should could remember. Naya told her that she loved her with her entire being and that she felt like she was finally home.

But then, they got into a stupid argument after Naya saw that Taylor was still texting her. It was that night that was the start of the slippery slope. She slept with Cory. She saw the red flags. She figured out that Naya was cutting and drinking again. She walked into Naya's session with Jamie last night.

Heather knew that last night was the turning point for Naya. She could feel it in her bones. She hated feeling so helpless in this situation. After everything Naya had done for her, to take care of her after she was the one who cheated. It was then that she realized just how much she loved Naya. Only someone who not only loved you, but was deeply in love with you, could put aside their anger to take care of you when you needed them most. And Naya did just that: she got her the morning-after pill. She rocked her to sleep and dried away her tears and soothed her, instead of shutting her out and leaving her. What Naya did instead was far worse that taking out her anger at her for what she did. Naya internalized the anger and took out in herself. The results were evident with the cuts on Naya's forearms and the many empty bottles of Grey Goose that she found.

She felt a hand upon her shoulder; she could tell that it wasn't Naya.

Hey Heath! Sorry, I know that Naya's still in a session with James, but i forgot one my files in my office.

Ohhh! Hi Jenny! It's no worry. They are both inside anyway in Jamie's office.

Jenny took a seat next to Heather and laughed at Fenway and Yankee bathing in the sun.

If I didn't know any better, I would say my dogs are working on their tans.

Heath looked over at them and joined in her laughter.

So, how are you, Hemo?

Me? I am okay, Jenn. I mean, I am more worried about Naya.

Since Jenny was Jamie's wife and they were all friends outside of the context of the professional therapeutic relationship, she did know a little bit of what had been going on. Of course, whatever information she knew was told to her by Naya or Heather. Never, ever from Jamie.

Jamie knew that having a personal friendship outside of the confines of the doctor/patient/therapist/client relationship is rare, especially when it includes their significant others. It is frowned upon in the establishment, to have a relationship outside of the confines of the office, for obvious reasons. The most important one of all is that it can be detrimental to the progress of the client. But Naya was no ordinary client and the circumstances with which they began this relationship were unique to say the least. Finding a fellow lesbian couple that Naya and Heather could trust, considering their stature in Hollywood was difficult. They had set distinct boundaries that kept all parties involved in-check.

Yeah, H. Me too. Being worried about Naya makes me worry more about Jamie.

Really? Why? Is something wrong? Heather says with concern, as she turns to face Jenny.

What? Oh, it's nothing bad, I swear. It's just that I know how much she cares about Naya. It's just been hard on her on a personal and professional level. I can understand now why that is not supposed to happen between a psychiatrist and her patient. Why they should not be friends outside of therapy, especially when Naya is still seeing her on a professional basis.

Wow, Jenny. I didn't even think of that. You are right. This must so difficult for her, seeing Naya as both a patient and as a friend.

Well, she does have her extensive training to fall back on and James does see a therapist to her decompress, but she isn't perfect. None of us are, right? Jenny says with a small smile.

That is a lot to deal with, Jenny. Even for someone as accomplished and professional as your wife. Seriously.

Heather put her hand on top of Jenny's and gave a squeeze of support when the heard laughter coming from inside the house. Soon enough, their loves emerged to join them on the veranda.

Baby! What are you doing her? Jamie exclaims as she gives Jenny a knowing look.

Doc, I am sorry. I just forgot this file that I needed this afternoon for my meeting at Childrens. I couldn't find it on my desk and then I realized I left on my desk, in my rush to leave this morning, so that you could start your session with Naya.

At that, Jamie's eyes softened. She always melted when her wife called her Doc.

But here, I got it, so I guess I should descend down before traffic gets any worse.

Jamie goes to walk her wife out that door as Naya takes a seat next to Heather. She places a gentle kiss to her girlfriend's bubblegum pink lips.

Hey.

Hey, baby.

Heather kisses her back and asks, So you doing okay?

Naya takes a moment before she answer.

You know what, H. I think that I am okay.

Just as Heather was about ask what Naya means about that, Jamie comes out.

Okay Hemo, your turn. Naya, do you need anything?

Oh, nope James. I am good. I think I'll just hang out here and check up on my e-mails.

Jamie smiles at Naya, then at Heather, to signal her to come inside.

Heath presses a kiss to Naya's forehead, as she follows Jamie thru the living room, into her office.

Heather sits on the fluffy soft chaise while Jamie sits across with her, a good 3 feet away. She takes a look around the room.

It's your first time in here, isn't it?

Hemo took a moment to see of that was true. Jamie was correct; this was her first time in this room.

Now, Hemo, I think it is only fair to tell you that I am only doing this session with you because I know how emotional last night was for both of you. I would never treat a couple separately and honestly, if you two were to ask me if I could do couples counseling for you, I would have to tell you no. It is already difficult for me to treat Naya, considering our friendship. I cannot be your therapist too.

Heather remembered what she and Jenny had just discussed.

I get it, James. This is a one-time only deal.

Yup. Good. Just wanted to make things crystal clear before we get started.

Crystal clear, J.

Okay, H. Well the floor is yours, so to speak.

umm. well. i haven't talked to anyone like this since I was a teenager, right after my dad died. a grief counselor. i saw him for like a year. so, yeah...

That's right Heather. I am so sorry about your dad.

Thanks Jaime.

If you feel like you need to talk about him, I will gladly refer you to my partner in the practice...

Oh no, I am good with that. Well, as good as you can be, when you lose your father at age 15.

True, Hemo.

Well, I guess I'll just dive right in?

Jamie gives her a nod of approval.

All of THIS is MY FAULT.

Naya cutting and drinking. it's all my fault.

Before Jamie can even interject, Heather continues-

Because of what I did, sleeping with Cory, it brought Snix out. It made her seek comfort in the Goose and the release of cutting. She internalized all of this anger she had towards me and this is the result, she manages to get out before the tears come tumbling down.


End file.
